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Why Do We Self-Sabotage Ourselves?
“Self-sabotaging is a misguided attempt to rescue yourself from negative feelings or current problems that might be weighing on you. It creates new problems or interferes with long-term goals. ” – Devon Dionne
Today, Devon and I are sharing why we tend self-sabotage ourselves and how we can stop it. Believe it or not, many of us live with some form of self-sabotaging beliefs and base our actions on those thoughts.
Together, we will discover:
- Why do we self-sabotage ourselves.
- How to identify when we’re doing it.
- What we can do in order to stop self-sabotaging ourselves.
Root Causes of Self-Sabotage
“If things seem to easy, then I create different ways to make myself anxious and that’s a major form of self-sabotage.” – Rob Dionne
We might take action in self-sabotaging ourselves if we regularly act on the following:
- Experience a lack of self-worth.
- Living through a state of cognitive dissonance.
- Acting with consistent destructive behavior.
- Feeling like you must be in control of your failure.
- Realizing that your fear of being a fraud is escalating.
Different Forms of Self-Sabotaging Actions
“We self-sabotage or procrastinate on something because we don’t want to have to go through the entire process.” – Rob Dionne
Self-sabotaging can come in many forms and eventually we get to the point where we’re so comfortable with our bad habits, that we continue to do the same act over and over because it feels good in the moment.
It might be self-soothing right then, but it’s not actually helping us in anyway at all and it’s taking us away from our ultimate goal.
Different forms of Self-Sabotaging Actions can include:
- Drinking too much alcohol
- Doing drugs
- Zoning out with the television
- Constant procrastination
- Harming a relationship because you’re used to chaos and drama
- Constantly looking for a scapegoat
Eventually, all of these self-destructing actions can throw us off and completely stop us from progressing with our goals.
The Impostor Syndrome
If you are constantly self-sabotaging yourself, it’s common that you’re also living with one or more of the 5 different forms of Impostor Syndrome or the fear of being a fraud:
- The Natural Genius
- The Rugged Individual
- The Expert
A perfectionist will set excessively high goals and will be brutally hard on themselves when they don’t achieve them.
A superman/superwoman will work longer hours or study harder because they think they have to outwork everyone so that people won’t find out they’re an “impostor.” They often feel useless and find it difficult to maintain relationships over work. Very common form of impostor syndrome for artists.
The Natural Genius
A natural genius believes that they should understand something immediately and if they have to work at it, there’s something wrong with them. They don’t like to have mentors or hired coaches nor like trying things that they might not be great at.
The Rugged Individualist
A rugged individualist likes to do things on their own because asking for help would confirm that they’re a fraud. They don’t want to ask for help outside of their circle.
An expert feels like they’ve duped everyone around into thinking that they’re cut out for the job and afraid their boss will figure it out. Always looking to take courses or get certifications to keep improving their skills and succeed. Hate to be called an expert because they don’t feel like they know enough.
“Most self-sabotage comes from a fear of success. Deep-down, fear of success isn’t truly a fear of making it big, it’s a fear of trying one’s best and not succeeding. Of being publicly humiliated as we worry that our best self isn’t good enough.” – Ellen Henderson
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Join The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group!
That’s right! We have a closed Open Sky Fitness Podcast group on Facebook where you and everyone have the opportunity to talk about your health and fitness goals in a safe environment. We post workouts and start discussions about how to be strategic around finding a healthier you. Check it out!
Start Building Your Own Workouts and Meal Plan!
Click To Download Home Workout Templates or text the word, “lifting,” to 33444 to download the templates.
Have a Question or Review for Rob or Devon?
We love answering questions and getting feedback from you, our listener! If you have any questions to ask us, want to share a review of the show, or tell us any suggestions for guests/topics that you think would be great to have on the show, just email Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org or Devon at email@example.com or you can also leave us a review at www.openskyfitness.com/review, ask a question in the closed Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and even text OSFreview to 33444 to get the link.
What You’ll Hear on This Episode
00:00 Open Sky Fitness Introduction
1:15 Opening comments with Rob and Devon
1:30 Check out last week’s episode – Episode 171 – Dan John: Getting Strong is Simple…Not Easy
2:40 Today’s show is all about self-sabotage.
3:40 Join our new 8 Week Sky Fit Challenge
8:00 What is self-sabotage?
10:35 Why do we self-sabotage ourselves?
15:00 Procrastinating and not acting on our dreams
18:00 Interpersonal relationships and distractions
19:22 What causes self-sabotage?
23:00 The 5 Forms of Impostor Syndrome
44:00 Scapegoat excuses for not getting fit and losing weight or living the life you want.
50:40 How do we create our fears and scapegoats?
52:00 What we can do to create new patterns of thinking and dealing with uncomfortable feelings.
55:00 Final bits of advice for handling self-sabotage
1:05:40 Closing comments with Rob and Devon
1:09:00 Open Sky Fitness Closing
RESOURCES MENTIONED DURING THE SHOW:
- Leave us an iTunes review
- Join the The Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook
- Contact Rob and Devon to apply for One-On-One Coaching Sessions
- Check out last week’s episode – Episode 171 – Dan John: Getting Strong is Simple…Not Easy
- Join our new 8 Week Sky Fit Challenge
- Stay tuned for next week’s episode with sex therapist, Dr. Jane Guyn, PhD, RN
- Read Too Busy to Get Busy by Jane Guyn, PhD RN
- Learn more about our new sponsor – ButcherBox
- Check out OSF Episode 169 with Pat Flynn – Get Fit with a Generalist Mindset
- Read the article from Fast Company, “The Five Types of Impostor Syndrome and How to Beat Them”
- Check out the article, “6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage” by Dr. Ellen Hendriksen
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Ask Rob a Question or tell him what is working for you: Email Rob@OpenSkyFitness.com
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Thanks for Listening!
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Thanks for listening/reading Episode 172 – Identify and Stop Self-Sabotaging Beliefs and Actions! We hope you have gained more knowledge on how to be a healthier you.