Anna Ponomarenko – Week 6

This week has been more than I think I was able handle. My god, I am emotionally and physically drained

At the beginning of the week I got some horrible news about a coworker, who got in a very very bad motorcycle accident. He was hit by a car that was going 65 to 70mph. They ran a red light and slammed right into him, shooting him across the street into bolders. The SOB got out of his car to check his precious bumper and promptly drove off without a care in the world that he hit another human being.

That night my coworker was left completely broken. He lost his left leg from the knee down on impact and broke his other three limbs as well….

This poor man has a beautiful life that he has worked extremely hard to have. Has a beautiful family, girlfriend, and friends. Has a wonderful job. Goes to USC. And runs 11 miles just because he can. And it didn’t come easy. Thankfully, he is alive but now lays in a hospital bed because of a, most likely, intoxicated and careless individual who should have never gotten behind the wheel that night.

I went to go see him in the hospital the other day,  which probably made everything worse. It was something I couldn’t believe or understand until I saw for myself. Then it was real. Someone that I cared about is seriously hurt and I cannot do anything about it. I cannot control your, mine, or his fate and it can all happen as quick as being momentarily in the wrong place at the wrong time.

For the first couple of days, I turned my brain off. I couldn’t process much, or for that matter, didn’t really want to. I had the worst time focusing on my personal goals with the Sky Fitness Challenge. I wasn’t really eating well, and my desire to push hard through my workouts pretty much diminished, and understandably so. I pretty much stopped eating, unless my roommate made me. Then when I got into the gym (if I even went) I didn’t have energy to run the simple 30 minutes that was required of me.  I missed a day at the gym and I am kicking myself for it. It was just one of those days that as much self talk and convincing I used on myself, another part of me fought tooth and nail. The pain and unwillingness won.

I have been feeling frustrated that I can’t eat what I want, even though I don’t really want to eat at all. But when I do, I’m pissed and annoyed that I have to eat vegetables! Can you believe it? I’m angry at a plant.  I don’t want anymore broccoli, I’m so effin sick of it. I don’t want anymore freaking bok choy, and god forbid you put some kale on my plate.  All I want is to comfort myself with a huge bowl of pasta covered in marinara and cheese.  Just give me some enchiladas and call it a day.  Or a drink!  Give me a god forsaken drink of wine to calm my nerves…

Well I know I can’t, because I have a goal and I have 6 more weeks to meet it. But hell…what a week…