Gretchen Rubin_ Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies - Ep. 234 OPEN SKY FITNESS PODCAST ROB DIONNE

Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies – Ep. 234

“There is no one way, one-fits-all, magic solution that works for everyone to reach goals or get things done. A lot of people spend time beating themselves up when something doesn’t work instead of saying, ‘Hey! I’ve learned something new about myself. This isn’t the way it works for me; let’s move on to something that works better.’ They shouldn’t feel like they don’t have any willpower or they’re not a grown up. There’s nothing wrong with you; there are other ways of doing things and let’s focus on that.” – Gretchen Rubin


This week, we are so excited to share Rob’s interview with New York Times Bestselling Author of numerous books including The Four Tendencies and Co-Host of The Happier Podcast, Gretchen Rubin. As you listen, Rob and Gretchen dove deep into how she switched from a career in law to become a writer, how you can develop personal methods to accomplish your goals, and all about each of the unique Four Tendencies we have according to our inner and outer expectations. Discover whether you are an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or a Rebel.

More specifically, you’ll learn about:

  • How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies by observing people including herself.
  • Why we try to change our tendencies and who we are even though there’s absolutely no need to do that.
  • How to make a shift in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have.
  • Why Rebels have a “could do” list instead of a common to-do or goals list.
  • What defines an Upholder and why they’re so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability.
  • How to know for sure if you have the Questioner tendency.
  • Why most of us (40% in fact) are Obligers and how that impacts our relationships with other people.
  • What an Obliger Rebellion is and why it can be a beneficial breakthrough for an Obliger.
  • How the Four Tendencies can overlap for some people.


“What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.” – Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Ruben's Four Tendencies


The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin

Get your copy of The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin here

The Four Tendencies by Gretchen RubinIn this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, bestselling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life. 

During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.

More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.

The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought…
·         People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself.
·         How can I help someone to follow good advice?
·         People say I ask too many questions.
·         How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask—or who keeps telling me what to do?

With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.

Click Here To Take The Four Tendencies Quiz 



The Four Tendencies Framework Intro


About Gretchen Rubin

Portrait of Gretchen Rubin, NYC

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature.

She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold over 3.5 million copies worldwide.

On her top-ranking podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft. (Gretchen is an Upholder, Elizabeth is an Obliger).

Gretchen Rubin has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work written up in a medical journal, and been an answer on the game show Jeopardy!

She started her career in law and was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when she realized she wanted to be a writer.


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    3. Your expectations and how you think Devon and Rob can help you



What You’ll Hear on This Episode

00:00 Open Sky Fitness Introduction

1:15  Opening comments with Rob and Devon

1:30 Check out our previous interview: OSF 233 Dr. Joel Fuhrman: Is Fast Food More Addicting Than Drugs?

1:40 About today’s guest, Bestselling Author, Gretchen Rubin.

5:00 Come and let us coach you on a podcast episode!

10:30 Join the conversation in our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook

10:55 A question from an OSF Facebook Group Member on natural digestive enzymes and probiotics.

12:30 What’s better for you? Raw vs. cooked vegetables.

15:00 Introduction to Gretchen Rubin

18:00 How Gretchen began her new career in writing after working in the world of law for so long.

22:00 How Gretchen and her husband supported each other during their career changs.

25:00 The Four Tendencies: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel as well as outer and inner expectations.

27:50 Why the majority of people (40% of us) are Obligers and we’re trying to change our tendencies to be a different person.

28:30 Why Obligers tend to outsource and reach for help to stay on track with their inner expectations and how they do it.

30:30 How to make a change in your life without changing your inner nature no matter what tendency you have.

31:50 How Rebels try to get work done with a “Could Do” list.

33:10 Upholders and how they’re so driven to succeed with just a little bit of accountability.

34:00 How Gretchen discovered The Four Tendencies within people including herself.

36:40 Can the Four Tendencies overlap? How do you tip into other personalities?

38:00 Rebels – What are they like? How can you deal with them or help them?

42:40 The Obliger Rebellion: What it is and what happens during one.

49:30 How The Four Tendencies can benefit and help you get to know yourself better.

50:30 Secrets of Adulthood – About this section of her website and some of her favorite secrets.

51:00 About one specific secret of adulthood – “What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.”

53:00  Final comments with Rob and Devon

53:10 Learn how to can be on the podcast and work with Devon and me in a coaching session!

57:00 Check out our Open Sky Fitness Podcast Group on Facebook

57:10 Open Sky Fitness Closing






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  • Various content resources including generational eating habits, the importance of building a wellness community, and how to begin a new healthy lifestyle.
  • How to make an impact on your life and life a life full of wellness.


Look Out For Our Upcoming

Throw Back Thursday Podcast Episodes!

We’ll be releasing new podcasts episodes on Thursdays that discuss previous episodes we’ve done, but we need your help! Go to the  Open Sky Fitness Facebook Group and tell us what your favorite episodes are. Then, Devon and I will re-listen to that episode, pick out the best parts and share even more insights on the topic.

We won’t just be regurgitating the same information over again. Since we began this podcast, there’s so much more information out their on health, nutrition, fitness, and personal wellness. So, each Thursday we’ll really just be going deeper into your favorite topics!


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Thanks for listening/reading episode 234 with Gretchen Rubin: Navigating Expectations With The Four Tendencies! We hope you have gained more knowledge on how to be a healthier you.

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